Not There
by Minn-Maigi
Summary: oneshot. Piper writes about her feelings for Aerrow.


**Minn: So much for my promise to myself that I would never write any fluff. *sigh* See… THIS is what happens when I have excruciating writers block. I end up writing things just for the sake of writing. Please, please, PLEASE vote in my poll. I'm dying to start on my next story.**

Not There

She sat at her desk, summoning up the strength and peace to let her feelings flow. As she glanced at the door for the third time, she was reassured to see it was tightly closed. In all her time of living, this was when she was most vulnerable.

She reached down slowly and opened the bottom drawer to the right. Inside was a notebook, tattered and well used. Piper took a moment to hold it in her hands and savor the adventure and victories in its pages. She then placed it aside and removed the false bottom of the desk drawer. For indeed, the squadron log was only a decoy. The other notebook hidden away was her _real_ log. The one where Piper never had to be afraid of change.

Piper withdrew the pale blue notebook and flipped it open to the next empty page, waiting for its secrets to form. With a slightly shaking hand, Piper grasped a pen and began to write.

_Piper's Log_

_Has it finally become what it is fated to be? 'Friendship' no longer seems to be its proper name. For so long it __grew closer to that precipice of higher feeling, but I pulled it away from the cliffside. I was not ready to accept the change it is bound to bring, and I am not ready still. My faith in change is still wavering. It could be my destruction or my life. If everything were to suddenly be exposed… If I asked him the question burning in my heart… No matter the answer, life would change. _

_The first answer would be the one to break everything. It would be the one to shatter the Atmos and to destroy everything right with the world. That would be if he said no._

_The second answer would mean possible life, but it could also mutate into something ugly. If he said yes, my world would be lit with his presence. That light would shine on him and me and not even the sun could match its comfort and warmth. However, I fear that the light would cast the others into shadow. There would be separate from our happiness, and know nothing but isolation and suffering. It is out of friendship to them that I am holding back from what may be my destined future._

_But how much longer can I wait? Have I deceived myself into thinking that the longer I wait, the less risk there will be? No. I know there is risk. Life is always full of chance, luck, and disappointments. Without them, it isn't a life. The reason I wait is for him. I can sense he is not ready. Deep in his heart the knowledge of what to come is growing, but he remains unaware of it. He does not know the extent of what is happening._

_Aerrow. If only you knew. But I fear that you never will. Will your ignorance kill what may be growing inside? Even if it doesn't, you will always have others to serve. The light of your yes would only last until the next disaster. When you leave, the light will leave with you. Even standing beside me, you'll be focused on your higher purpose. Being the savior of Atmos has a price; you can never be with the one you choose._

_That is the problem. My destiny is in one word: Aerrow. But yours is in another: Atmos. It is only when our destinies are focused on each other that the light will last forever. Can I wait for your destiny to end? Will it ever? No. Atmos will be eternal. Protecting it will take just as long. On that day you say yes, you may assure me that your destiny is in me, but I know one day I will awaken to find that you will not be there. You are not there._

"Piper?"

Piper jumped so violently from the shock that she caused the pen to scratch straight across the page. Behind her door, Aerrow was knocking.

"Don't come in!" Piper protested, covering up the pages of her book.

"I just came to tell you that we received a distress call from a nearby freighter." Aerrow's voice was muffled. "Me and Radarr are going to check it out. I'll be gone for a while."

Piper sighed and turned back to the pages of her notebook. "_Not there._"

"Piper?"

She jumped again, thinking her sky knight had left. "Yes?"

"Don't worry." Even without seeing him, Piper could hear the smile in Aerrow's voice. "I'll come back."


End file.
